once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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