That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize