i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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