fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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