So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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