Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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