ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
