How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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