I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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