Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
