dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
