i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
