KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
