I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
