My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
