You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize