Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
