So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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