No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
