is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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