Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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