Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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