we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
