Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sext me about skeletons
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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