so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
