Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
