The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize