Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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