she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
