so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
