how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
