Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
