This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
