Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
