its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
