How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
