She is in my trunk
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
