lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
