Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
