Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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