The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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