and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
