Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
