That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
