Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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