Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
