it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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