Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Girls should come with a carfax report
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
