In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
