The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
