You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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