You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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