i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
