I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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