Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
