Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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