i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
