Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize