yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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