the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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