You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
