like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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